I enjoy exploring non-linear movement using a prop to change things up for sensory feedback. This is a short clip where I'm using a weighted ball (about 1kg) to add load and resistance. It helps me to track movement into the scapular, rib cage and spine. The spirals of my bones help to recruit the elasticity of the myofascial chains. Allowing for information from the distal to inform the proximal body in initiating movement.
I'm pleased to be facilitating the next instalment of Embodiment and Bodywork Immersion once again at the gorgeous MalaDhara retreat centre in Chiang Mai this July.
This program keeps evolving year after year as I continue to morph and grow as an educator, therapist, practitioner, and most importantly, a human being. Many people ask me what kind of Yoga do I teach now, and what do I mean by calling it Embodiment. So this is my attempt to shed some more light on this immersion. Movement. Inquiry. Embodiment. These 3 words have been the guiding pillars of my content and offerings the last 3 years. In these deeply personal journeys, I hope to hold a sacred space for inquiries to take place, through movement, through touch, through curiosity, through connections - to delve into the relationships with our body, with our self and with others. To offer a safe space to explore, to question, to challenge and to let go. This program is NOT about scoring quick fixes. It is NOT about perfecting your alignment in Yoga poses. It is NOT a promise package to finding your bliss. BUT. This program will help you - Learn more about your habitual patterns in the body-mind Cultivate awareness, acceptance and spaciousness from within Learn to listen so you can transition from a dogma / goal-oriented movement approach to one that is informed by body intelligence Rest / Restore / Rejuvenate Learn / Relearn / Retrain / Rewire And therefore, it is not Yoga of any lineage or any style. It is about coming home to our being, curated through the lens of wholeness, an embodiment of body-mind-spirit. Not for the faint-hearted. http://www.yogawithdaphne.com/embodimentyogabodyworkimmersion.html We shall not cease from exploration And the end of life our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time … T.S Elliot Contemporary yoga culture has to realise the fundamental disconnect between a relatively universal and modern intention that the practice should lead to self-awareness, self-responsibility, self-agency; and a teaching methodology that emerged in the early 20th Century based on telling people exactly what to do and how the practice should make you feel.
Any way you consider them, these are logically incompatible. ~ Theodora Wildcroft, Yoga Teacher & Researcher I saw this post today and it struck a chord with me, as I’ve been told many times that what I’m teaching “isn’t” Yoga as what people expect, and that it could be confusing to seekers of the practice of Yoga to call it Yoga. If Yoga is defined as a union, a connection that bridges the gap between personal and universal, between shadow and light, between past and future, between body and mind, isn’t Yoga then a practice of self inquiry and exploration, an innate curiosity to explore these fundamental questions of existence - of who we are, why we are here, of our relationships with our body, self and others. But it is so easy to seek the safety net of a label, a lineage, a style, be classified and put in a box, be told what to do instead of having to think and act on our own terms, so we are less dangerous, more predictable. I’m sure there are many out there who genuinely want to help others, and their opinion is what they think is the best, and they are dishing it out on a silver platter - formulated and sequenced. For me what truly propels change is the embodied wisdom that honours our fundamental needs as human beings to explore, question, challenge dogmas. Insight is a connection to the present moment, a deeply personal experience that often manifest when judgment and labels fall away. This, is what I hope to facilitate as Yoga. Sitting with grief
The quiet amongst the chaos The stillness amidst the turmoil Your eyes your smile Your warm embrace Your voice your words Your love That open door that Your shadow still lingers in Awaits your footsteps Hand on my shoulder In silence in company In tenderness We sit in grief I stood watching you while you rested The sense that your closed eyes Might blink open In the brilliance of your light I stood watching you while you slept The beauty of your heart Beat an invisible rhythm Reciting the nourishment of your care I stood watching you in your repose The scent of your skin Wrapped around your body A warm haven of embrace lays in wait We walked the long road Into the furnace of rites I bow down in your grace As your flame licked away my tears These ashes of memories Scattered into the ocean Into the eternal Ebb and flow May the light of the sun Dance and celebrate In the colours Of all your love May the moon watch over you A mirror of your soul Reflecting the tender beauty Of all your strife May the sea birds sing you songs Of your children Offering your protection In your journey safely home In loving memory of my father, Chua Kian Peng❤ My father left this world in the evening of 29th December. The dreaded phone call that I hoped to have never received. My sisters and I lost the man who gave us life.
My father loved life. He taught me to how to sing and dance and laughed without a care.. He said to always to live fully, love deeply. He showed me what grit is when the world crumbles, what faith is when our hearts shatter. He believed in me even when I've let him down. For all the words that were left unspoken, for all the deeds left undone, for all the tears still left to be shed, we mourn the loss of our beloved father, our best friend, our partner in crime. I love you Papa. Rest In Peace 我的父亲在12月29日晚离开这个世界。我接到我曾希望永远不会收到可怕的电话。我和两个妹妹失去了给予我们生命,为我们取名,教我们人生意义的人。 我父亲热爱生命。他说永远要充分地生活,深深地爱着。当世界崩溃时,他向我展示了什么是坚强不屈,当我们的心碎裂时,他默默的关怀。 所有来不及说出口的话语,关心,爱护,留下了泪水,我为失去我敬爱的父亲,我最好的朋友,我的犯罪伙伴而哀悼。 老爸,感恩您对我无条件的爱,这些年的付出,照顾。。。感谢您的笑容,幽默,担心。。。 我永远爱你,请您安息。 The picture above depicts a little tactile inquiry into exploring the (vestibular) qualities of the lateral lines in our fish body at the dancers' remedial workshop in Singapore... One of the things I love most about teaching is a remembrance of our essence in nature. Diving under the static of "doing", and dropping into the spaces of "being". These spaces, seemingly separate, are so intricately connected, as they unravel and present themselves between thoughts and phenomenas. They inform us of how we are a part of the universe's grand design, and every cell is a form in which all life arises. When we study fascia, it is a call to remember what makes us who we are, and that we can unpack and relearn and reintegrate and return to a field of awareness to find health and well-being. Embodiment creates an open channel to allow life to flow through these spaces in between, a journeying back to our essence in water and on land. “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” ~ Rumi Spring greetings from the Blue Mountains! This October marks 2 years of my stay here in Australia. I remember arriving fresh off the boat (plane) on October 13, 2016, being greeted by spring blossoms and the (sometimes too) crisp mountain air.
In learning how to adapt to a new temperate climate, I've come to appreciate the ever changing colours and elemental vibes of the seasons, observing Mother Nature's order of phenomenas. The quiet life here afforded me the lens to pay attention to the details, a sneak peek into impermanence - through the relentless shedding of the weeping eucalyptus, the luscious radiance of waratahs, the sheer gleen of a lethal toadstool, the celestial engineering of cricket wings... I've conceded that nature is not linear, and that every being has its place and time in this world. Life on earth is simply birthing, existing and dissolving. These are essential events in the macro and microcosm that somehow only the human species have the inkling to wield cognitive control over. The last 2 years has also been a distillation of my own mind-body work through deep inquiries - into how we relate to ourselves, to each other and to our inner and outer environment. My personal practice and teaching is now an interoceptive, non-linear study. One that delves into sensory awareness on allowing the quiet and subtle to come into light. I have inadvertently opened an existential Pandora's box, uncovering the innate power of nature to reconcile, to mediate, to heal... In being, Daphne ,
I’ve slid off the blogging / writing bandwagon for a while. Excuses are plentiful… from being inundated by the constant demands of running a one-woman travelling stint to plain old procrastination. Truth is my creative writing juices have stagnated, I found myself scrapping the bottom of the inkwell. Truth is I caved in to the comfort of non-expression, it’s easier than finding words to validate or to rehash my opinions. Truth is I ran out of inspiration when everyone has something to say on every single social media platform. I bowed out without signing off. I begin to wonder if a part of my brain has shut down, or perhaps a place in my heart has closed. Whatever happened to the raw open honesty I used to put forth relentlessly? Perhaps there are too many unanswered questions left lingering and I couldn’t be fussed to find a starting point. So here I am. My head whirling, my hands shaking, my breath shallow in my attempt to make words so I can bring myself out of the writing rut. My world felt small sitting here on a rainy spring evening in solitary silence. They say silence is amplified through sound. I can hear my stomach churn like a bird cawing through a valley… I scroll through Facebook.. Notifications reminds me of a post from 10 years ago "On this day". It says I am a magnet with 2 like poles. I wonder what inspired this cryptic notion a decade ago. What was the younger, feistier, fresh-out-of-corporate me going through at that time? A lifetime ago... Do I still recognise myself in her? Were my creative juices flowing more freely then? That was before life took me on a path of learning, to observe phenomenas as impermanence, instead of identifying with the perpetuity of sentiments. Have I come away a better version of myself? >>>>>>>>>>>>> In an obscure night Fevered with love's anxiety (O hapless, happy plight!) I went, none seeing me Forth from my house, where all things quiet be… The Dark Night of the Soul (Spanish: La noche oscura del alma) is a poem written by the 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross. St. John wrote: "In the first verse, the soul tells the mode and manner in which it departs, as to its affection, from itself and from all things, dying through a true mortification to all of them and to itself, to arrive at a sweet and delicious life with God." I’ve often spoken about Shadow work - the inner work of owning up to our own struggles, deep fears, self-doubt, judgement. In light of all the “blissing out” propagated in the yoga and spiritual community, this work is necessary in embodying the full spectrum of who we are in our human experience. We can’t move into the light unless we can become comfortable in the dark. The concept of the Dark Night is akin to the realm of confronting our shadows. We arrive at an existentialistic juncture wherein what used to excite and satiate us now leave us standing in a void. And perhaps we cling on helplessly to any shred of identity, resisting the unfolding of yet another empty moment… desperately conscious of being trapped in an abyss of disconnection, a suspended animation of another drawn out storyline. The despair is juxtaposed by an acute awareness of immense possibilities and grace that seem hopelessly out of reach. Our mortality stark and looming. Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski coined the term Positive Disintegration, which views this as necessary in the process of psychological maturing. Ram Dass spoke of the horrible beauty of suffering essential in helping to polish the mirror of our soul, to illuminate the nature of reality, and glimpse into our Jivatman, or true nature. So tonight I offer my inquiry to this void, this darkness. I mourn my loss for words, for meaning, as I open out to this sacred process of clearing out, of cleansing, of giving in to the truth, of showing up night after day after night after day... a softening to the brutal tenderness of metamorphosis… Breathing out of the cocoon... I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses. – Friedrich Nietzsche, “Thus Spoke Zarathustra“ Today is Guru Purnima, dedicated to all the teachings and teachers from within to without. Today is the day of the full moon eclipse, amplifying our shadows, reminding us of the inner work, of self exploration, drawing us back to our purpose, calling for clarity in our intentions to be more fully integrated as human beings. Asatoma Satgamaya Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya Mrityorma Amritam Gamaya Lead me from the unreal to the real Lead me from darkness to the light Lead me from the earth to the open sky Lead me from death (limitations) to eternal life (freedom) Forget about enlightenment.
Sit down wherever you are And listen to the wind singing in your veins. Feel the love, the longing, and the fear in your bones. Open your heart to who you are, right now, Not who you would like to be. Not the saint you’re striving to become. But the being right here before you, inside you, around you. All of you is holy. You’re already more and less Than whatever you can know. Breathe out, touch in, let go.” The first leaves are morphing to colours of autumn in the southern hemisphere. In a few weeks the street we live on will burst into flaming shades of red and auburn and magenta, adding yet another filter to the landscape of the Blue Mountains. Mother Nature holds our attention in her nonchalant ways of always being in flux. She captivates us with her sense of humour in impermanence. Ebb and flow. Water carving rocks. Every single moment is one of creation, sustenance, dissolution. If we stay quiet enough to notice... Wabi sabi. The Japanese Zen Buddhists coined this term to describe the acceptance of transcience and imperfection. The aesthetic is the beauty of which is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete - the law of nature. In Sanskrit, the word Purna: meaning fullness, wholeness, perfection, as it is at any given moment. The universe's celestial architecture functions on the premise of this law. Perfect straight lines do not exist in Mother Nature. Her canvas is filled with squiggly lines of skies and mountains and trees and rivers and streams and rocks and leaves. These manifestations serve as a constant reminder of the passage of time. Nothing in nature possesses perfect symmetry. Everything has to be taken as it is, with all its cracks and warts and uneven shades. Still nature has an order. The order in which no 2 sunrises or sunsets are the same. The order that moves through the wind that whispers in the peaks and valleys, through the pelting of raindrops, through the pounding waves and flowing streams... The only place we find straight lines is in human dwellings. Take a walk through any metropolis and take in the geometrical wonders of the skyscrapers, Stand amidst the towering buildings and marvel at the engineering ingenuity created by human minds. Tune into the static humming of the electricity running through cable lines, the heaving of generators and air-conditioner compressors, the honking of traffic, mobile phones ringing… "The order of Nature never moves in straight lines but basic human logic does. Nature creates perfect order from chaos. Human logic creates chaos from order. Nature was an indirect thinker…” ~ Sam Ovens The application of yoga in therapeutic settings is still a relatively new field in the realm of modern healthcare. Its magic lies in the approach in bringing the body-mind into homeostasis - a state of moment-to-moment balance, by recognising the body-mind as an eco-system. Contrast this to the problem-solving, symptomatic methodological tactics of the western medical system - which has its place in playing an important role in saving human lives and preserving mortality. In Yoga Therapy we observe the energetic qualities that arise in the experience without judgement. We recognise the three-dimensional, living, breathing, complex, messy creatures that we are instead of seeing our body as mechanical parts. There is no form to conform to. It is not about what we do but how we do it. Yoga Therapy is a non-linear science and a sensible art form with its roots firmly grounded in the order of nature. The focus is on the process, not the end result. It honours the body, instead of trying to conquer it. This approach brings about the embodiment of everything that makes us whole. It is the awareness that spans beyond the frontal lobe of logical reasoning. Awareness is a cellular knowing, a witnessing that takes into consideration our personal context but being able to move past the storylines. This work is labelled self-inquiry - the inward process of uncovering this blueprint, to uncover a timeless consciousness that is woven into the tapestry of our body-mind. It stems from a deep desire to explore, to surrender to the truth that what makes us whole does not exist outside of ourselves. My hope is to bring the understanding of this work to as many people as possible. Especially in a time where as a species, we are starting to forget that we are not walking-breathing-thinking-doing machines. We are not a container of parts that make up the whole. We cannot "fix" our ailments and suffering by popping pills and acquiring things. We need to slow down. Be still. See the interconnectedness of our environments, from within to without. As a yoga practitioner for almost 2 decades, my foundational practice in Anusara Yoga has provided me with a solid map in understanding the musculoskeletal system in functional movement. And with that map, I’m now exploring the terrain - on how to embody the creative interplay of all the other systems - our fascia, organs, glands, fluids, brain! The complex universe of our body-mind is full of squiggly lines and bio-rhythms that echo the eco-systems of Ma Nature! This year I’ve “re-labeled” the yoga therapeutics trainings I’ve been facilitating as Embodiment Modules to provide more clarity in communicating both my personal evolution as a practitioner, as well as my professional development as a therapist and educator. The Embodiment Modules will explore applications from my study and practice in areas such as the work of Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen’s Body Mind Centering® in somatics, embodied anatomy and developmental patterns; Thomas Meyers’ Anatomy Trains in functional movement and fascia intelligence; as well as the applications of classical yogic philosophy in Yoga Therapy in the lineage of Krishnamacharya . They all speak of the same thing - that every one of us possess the innate capacity to heal if we learn how to listen deeply to what our relationships are telling us, from within to without. Going forward,Yoga with Daphne’s embodiment, therapeutics and bodywork offerings hopes to cater to:
And finally, a little plug for my multi-talented better half. He never ceases to amaze me with his creative wonders, from photography to music making to album productions and now to publishing his series of books on positive living! Check out his “All it takes is an hour” series here "There is a natural order and harmony to this world, which we can discover. But we have to feel it in our bones, in our hearts, in our minds" ~ Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms, The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can’t touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them, They say they still can’t see. I say, It’s in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Now you understand Just why my head’s not bowed. I don’t shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing, It ought to make you proud. I say, It’s in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need for my care. ’Cause I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. ~ Phenomenal Women, Maya Angelou #womensday Many people asked me why I generally don't give direct answers when I teach, why are there no formulated fixes to Yoga Therapy, why do we have to keep doing "inquiries" which have no goals other than to observe... Maybe some of the answers lie here ~
This is an excerpt of an article called Conscious and Unconscious Dialogue from "Sensing, Feeling, and Action" by the ever-inspiring Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen. “One of the principle characteristics of my teaching is that I tend to teach both to the unconscious and to the conscious in the student. For example, when I present an exploration in class, as soon as I feel the “mind of the room” resonate the consciousness or mind state central to that exploration, I’ll move on the another exploration. The moving-on might be premature for people in the class who did not recognize consciously that they were in that mind state or exactly what that mind state was. They knew something happened, but they had no ides what it was. My intention in teaching this way is so that what people have learned unconsciously will come out later in the circumstances of their own lives. I sow the seed so that they can continue to learn at home. It might not come to them for a year or two, when all of a sudden they have some realization of their own. That way there is an excitement about discovering something themselves, rather than is being just another piece of information that has been given to them. I try to slip in under the consciousness, while still giving people enough of the conscious experience so they can recreate it in some way or be able to keep that doorway open until the information comes through by itself, through a personal experience.” Christmas eve 2017, a cool summer night in the Blue Mountains. I’m back home to wrap up the year… and while I await the arrival of my other half to come home just before the clock strikes midnight, I sit here with my thoughts in the quiet of night.
Year-end is when searching questions are asked. It’s that time of the year where we give ourselves permission to momentarily believe in reindeers and unicorns, elves and Santa, perhaps pause for a reflection or two. These moments create a space where we can indulge in the excitement of uncertainty, celebrate the fears we have had to keep at bay most of the functional year, and revel in the brimming promises of the new year. We can ask big questions, 'fess up on what we could have done better, untangle our hearts and minds from the vines of shackling thoughts and beliefs, and find courage to hit a reset button in our life. This year I battled with a number of debilitating illnesses, from a sacral-iliac joint injury to a viral infection that hit me like a landslide crushing me into the deepest trenches, a discovery of a genetic blood disorder, and finally a decision to go under the knife for the first time in my 42 years in this body. This year I moved to a foreign land and experienced the true meaning of solitude. I confronted bouts of anxiety and shadows of depression. I was broken and put back together many times over. This year I learn that gifting myself the option of being vulnerable brings me clarity and resilience. This year I had to let go of belief systems and conditionings that were the cornerstone of my yoga practice and teaching. This year I’m humbled by the sheer joy of having good mental and physical health. I learned, through so much of my own resistance and ego shattering moments - that awareness is gained through deep and sometimes difficult self inquiry coupled with relentless practice in what we preach. I learned, heartbreakingly, to first acknowledge that it is easy for us to run away from the moment we are dealt with any discomfort, but we often end up treading on a hamster wheel of made-belief volitions. As the wise ones say, life is a journey that is often times shrouded in darkness, interspersed with light. When we honour the duality of shadow and light we see that they are two sides of the same divine coin. Too often we get caught up in chasing the light that we spend the rest of our life running away from our own shadow. In our current internet finger-swiping era, we tend to live our lives like we know it all, and if we don’t, google is there to help. No-thing should be left in wonder because we’d create a fix for every known problem. We expect life-changing, transformative understanding at every point, reflected in the current smorgasbord of intellectual, spiritual even emotional pursuits on offer. In the last year many people have asked me what made me decide to take a seemingly “pointless” approach in the style of yoga I’m teaching now. Why don’t I facilitate the much more physically challenging and ego gratifying, sweat inducing, endorphins loaded practices anymore? Why do I choose to go out on a limb with a slow, somatic, process-oriented, experiential, inquiry-based, why-am-still-trying-to-feel-the-connection-between-the-arch-of-my-foot-and-my-pelvic-floor methodology that can be infuriating for the quick modern minds and bodies waiting to be pumped? Why don’t I just teach the set poses to do for this condition or that injury, or better still, on how to get into that handstand? How can "planting a seed in the subconscious” be therapeutic?? Mary Taylor, a well respected teacher of the Ashtanga tradition, wrote in a recent blog about teaching yoga - "People will always try to put you on a pedestal, to simplify their path into one that avoids the necessity of not knowing. All of us as students go through phases where we want the shortcut - someone to do the work for us, a path that doesn't require courage, patience and insight. So as teachers we need to carefully hold space for our students - providing enough support for them to stay grounded without imposing our own ego-driven agenda onto them. This means that as teachers we need to stay awake so that we don't identify with other's projections " I also read somewhere lately that we need to allow oneself to swim in the sea of uncertainty, and in those moments, we’ll be touching reality; that we don’t have to understand all things, and that the end of every thought process does not have to be a conclusion. As I delve into my own evolution as a human being and inquire into the many roles I play in this lifetime, particularly in my work as a yoga teacher, these are now the searching questions that I ask: how do we first create equanimity and honesty in our own relationship with ourselves? How do we recognise, allow/accept, investigate and not-identify (quoting the RAIN practice by Buddhist teacher Tara Brach) with discomfort? Can we develop equanimity with this body, these emotions, these thoughts, the very experiences of pleasure and pain? Can we then recognise the same self in others? Come January I’ll be facilitating the third instalment of Yoga with Daphne’s therapeutics and bodywork residential immersion. This will be the last training before I take a little hiatus to go into surgery and recovery. I'm very excited about facilitating this intensive from the inner work and studies I've done the last year. If you’re looking for a way to understand more about mind-body connection, neuroplasticity, yoga therapy, trauma & mental health etc., as well a foundational framework to apply this knowledge therapeutically for self care and in holding space for another through movement and bodywork, please join me in this week-long inquiry, set in the charming UNESCO heritage old town of Luang Prabang. I fell in love with this special place with its gorgeous natural landscape and rich cultural offerings when I first visited in July. May peace be with all this holiday season. There is no controlling life. Try corralling a lightning bolt, containing a tornado. Dam a stream, and it will create a new channel. Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet. Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground. The only safety lies in letting it all in - the wild with the weak; fear, fantasies, failures and success. When loss rips off the doors of the heart, or sadness veils your vision with despair, practice becomes simply bearing the truth. In the choice to let go of your known way of being, the whole world is revealed to your new eyes. ~ Danna Faulds, “Allow" A tribute to an old friend, ex-colleague, filmmaker, artist, and brother, Butch Maddul ********************
Gone too soon my friend Remember when A lifetime ago Beer in one hand, camera in the other Your rumbling laughs from the belly Always the pillar, always the brother In arms, in tears, in faith, in love Remember when A lifetime ago Music played to your honest beat And life was bigger than the sum of us Lives immortalised through your lens Your boundless heart the only guide Remember now And forever always Your soul lives on, thrives Across lands, beyond time Your smile etched on the hearts Of all you have touched Gone too soon, my brother, but you never left It’s 5 o’clock in the evening and the thermometer gauge on our front door tells me it’s 10 degrees celsius. The last light is hanging on to leaves in the trees in our yard, and the wind picks up a blended whiff of lavender, rosemary and budding spring flowers in the southern hemisphere... another cloudless sunny day in the Blue Mountains coming to a close. It’s been almost a year since we packed up our little bungalow in Chiang Mai, left our idyllic much-ado-about-nothing Thai life behind to pursue other life opportunities in Australia. Packing, moving, unpacking, adjusting, house hunting, furnishing a new home, celebrating, mourning, holding on, letting go, accepting, resisting, surrendering… There were times when it felt like I would bump my head into every corner I turned, and every shimmer in the distance felt like an ad nauseum joke to trick me into thinking there was light at the end. The past 12 months has challenged me in ways I had never imagined. It forced me to show up each day when I just wanted to pull the blanket over my head and stay there for eternity. It pushed me to look really hard at how I could possibly grow as a human being, if I can truly be authentic and resilient. I looked everywhere for answers but none came close to satisfying my cerebral mind. The heat from the summer dissipated, the leaves changed colours and fell to the ground, flooding our front porch with shades of brown. The ceaseless rumination followed me through the cold misty winter. I found myself clinging on to mere shreds of hope… till my mind gave up, and so did my body. In June, I battled a debilitating winter fever, a severe virus infection, and a toxic migraine. I crouched in front of the heater trying to warm my bones in futile, breathing hurt my ribs, any mental activity shot spasms into my skull. I prayed for an easier way out... I came through the other side 10 days later, I felt a little lighter, my vision a little clearer, and a little voice telling me to just put one foot in front of the other, that life is still happening, and living needs to be done. Onwards, I set out on my next round of teaching engagements back in the warmer climates of Asia, along with Frank my skeletal companion. Though I was still weak from the recovery, I knew I would be nourished by doing what I love, meeting new people and reconnecting with old students. However, I was as excited as I was nervous, because things were different this time round. My body has changed, my life experiences have thrown me curve balls, my understanding on the practice of yoga as a healing tool has morphed into an approach that is no longer about fitness and the best selling yoga high. No longer armoured with a bag of tricks labeled “the Universal Principles of Alignment”, I decided to relinquish the handstands, the backbends, the rip-roaring hip openers… for seemingly goal-less somatic practices: spending hours uncovering breath patterns in the body, observing how our feet are turned, sensing our viceral organs, moving from our kidneys… we only work on processes, no peak poses, no quick fixes, no sweat-induced endorphins from copious amount of contortions and gravity defying postures… and no straight answers. The late Sri TKV Desikachar said to “Look at our relationships” when taking stock of our progress in the practice of the living tradition called Yoga. I told my students we are doing this so we can understand our underlying conditioning and holding patterns, investigating through our own relationships with our body & mind, so we can form relationships within the environment we inhabit in - both macro & micro. I explained that when we can inquire into the Why, the How's and What's and When's and Where's will fall into place. 7 weeks of presenting relational inquiries from Laos to Singapore to Vietnam, via translations in some settings, in as much as I could give justice to the language of embodiment in English. I jumped through hoops and stumbled on hurdles. I needed to convince others as much as myself on this quest for truth, so I kept refining my approach as I soldiered on, sitting in hotel beds poring over teaching notes, reflecting on feedback, making changes to sequences, language, timing, and then laying out the mat to practice till its time to head into class again… Upon my return back to Australia, I went straight into the next module of Yoga Therapy training in Sydney. As much as I was exhausted from teaching, I wasn’t sure whether I was quite ready to spend 2 weeks being a full-time student. My body yearned for rest, my head felt like there was no room left for anymore input… If “synchronicity” was the best thing that a fatigued person needed for a boost, then it happened on that first day of the training - stark in bold on the projector screen that morning - “We as yoga therapists require - radical humility, an open, inquisitive mind, and a high threshold for divine insecurity.” Our work begins when we inquire into our intuitive hearts, within which there are no assumptions, no projections, no pre-conceptions, no thoughts. We are a clear channel as therapists / teachers - we hold a space where change is permitted to permeate, in its moment to moment preciousness. We offer a haven through our wholehearted listening, we embody humility by showing up fully - because authentic expression comes from witnessing the cosmic play of light and shadow. As I settle back into life in the Blue Mountains this spring, I hold within me a divine knowing that I’m on the right track - that our measuring device lies not in the answers we seek but in our courage to give up certainty. When we surrender to the sanctity of all our sacred relationships with life, we can tap into the immense power of our own healing - peel the blanket off of our face, and let the light in... Furthering my study and work in somatic education & Yoga Therapy, I hope you can join me on my next sojourn - Moving from Within, in the last quarter of 2017 & beginning of 2018. Immersions / Retreats November 7 to 12: Yoga & Bodywork as Therapeutics Foundations (24-hours CEU), Yogarden, Koh Samui, Thailand January 22 to 28: Yoga & Bodywork as Therapeutics Teacher Training (50 hours CEU), Luang Prabang, Laos City Workshops November 17 to 19: Yoga Therapeutics Applications: Working with Chronic Pain & Injuries (12 hours CEU), Yangon Yoga House, Myanmar November 25 to 26: Moving from Within: Inquiry, Embodied Anatomy, Bodywork (10 hours CEU), Wild Rose Yoga, Chiang Mai, Thailand December 3 to December 15: Private Bodywork & Yoga Therapy Sessions, Singapore December 8 to 10: Yoga Therapeutics Applications (25 hours CEU), Outta Hatha Yoga, Singapore Stay tuned for more details! “As we increase our knowledge of ourselves, we increase in understanding and compassion for others.” ~ Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen, founder of Body Mind Centering® Today is Winter Solstice in the Southern Hemisphere - the shortest day, the longest night. Yin trumps Yang. Pause. Reflect. I woke up to a sunny, cloudless, windy morning. Being mowed down by a strange virus attack the past week, I got out of bed feeling almost human again. I could feel my feet on the ground. I can breathe with almost no pain in my ribs, I can take another step forward without feeling the world closing in on me. The ceaseless pounding in my head seem to have dialled its screech down to just a dull static too. Sickness can make days feel like decades, and pain can make minutes feel like eternity. My teacher tells me that Suffering = Pain + Resistance; and resistance is the story lines we create from the pain, which can easily build themselves up into epic dramas. Solstice comes from the Latin words - sol, which means Sun, and sistere, which means stillness and incidentally, is “sthi” in Sanskrit - the root word for steadiness or stability. Today is also International Yoga Day. And to honour these 2 auspicious occasions falling on the same day, I invite you to sit in the quietude that is right here within us in the eye of storm. Marvel at the power of our emotions. See how we can release, transform, or accept them. Yoga teaches us how to suffer with an open heart, and a quiet mind. During the Yoga Therapy training last week, an overarching theme revolving round how we handle deep-seated patterns (Samskaras) to bring about change and healing to our body-mind.
Pema Chodron spoke of a profound Buddhist concept Shenpa in her talk Positive Groundlessness: The Freedom to Choose Something Different. Through an understanding in the impermanence of all things in essence, and the ability to relax into this knowing. She offered a 3-step tools whom she deemed as "difficult", but with practice, will help in not setting us back into our habits / patterns that keep us trapped, to not get stuck in the status quo or our perceived comfort zone, and to revel in the "unknowing" of it all. Some reflections... Awareness (Jnana) ~ to notice when we get "hooked"- the baits, the triggers (expectations, fear, assumptions etc) that led us to believe that the rug is being pulled from under our feet, and our conditioned reflex to "fight/flight" by reacting with judgement, blame, anger, hate, even towards ourselves. Desire (Iccha) ~ A desire to change - simply noticing or becoming aware isn't enough if our default ego-driven response still goes "Yes, but..." A solid willingness to transform (Tapas) has to goes beyond superficial cognition, but also somatically. When the mind closes, the body contracts, and vice versa. Being able to allow our mind-body to stay open in challenging situations and self inquiring into the status quo can fundamentally change our behaviour. Action (Kriya) ~ A life-long practice to keep coming back to this groundlessness in our words and actions. To keep falling flat on our faces and getting up, to not let our sense of righteousness drive us into believing that being right is more important than being love, to let our bleeding hearts crack open as we fall, and to allow this sense of groundlessness be the womb in which kindness and compassion flourish. “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ” ~ Pema Chodron There is so much speak revolving around alignment in the modern yoga world... so many jargon on where to place our hands and feet and rotate shoulders and turn pelvis and engage our core... to somehow conform to a set of universal rules to make our yoga body instagram worthy, and / or to fulfil some teacher's or lineage's perception of what is "correct".
As I delve deeper into understanding my own body, trying to make sense of the decades of habits and patterns intrinsic to my genetic make-up, lifestyle and conditioning, I've discovered a whole new terrain in uncovering movement patterns that are simply unique blueprints of our essential being, honouring who we are individuals, and melding into the universal sentience that is already within our innate consciousness. As a movement teacher and therapist, this also means facilitating, encouraging, allowing, welcoming, and most importantly, not obstructing the flow of deep, self-manifested movement patterns to rise up from within, creating the space for inquiry, for practitioners to re-discover their own strength, balance and healing... Our moment-to-moment perfect existence, aka alignment. "To unleash our life force, maybe even change our course, we can choose to consciously turn towards the brilliance of intelligent life. Unguided, self-movement (which is not directed by anyone) bubbling up from deep within is elemental for becoming integral. Valuing how intrinsic this self-movement is for supporting our quality of life, we can look no further than the river. Like the river, we too are part of a larger earth and cosmic life force. We are not inanimate (body objects) lacking perception and volition. We cannot achieve good posture by simply correcting, stabilizing, or objectifying. Rather being human, we must become flowing expressions, animated by the movement of the inner sea, the underground springs, and the outer planets…fluid, dynamic, ever changing, a life force… if you will" ~ Liz Koch on Core Awareness It's been almost a year since I officially launched Yoga with Daphne as a RYS for teacher trainings & continuing education in the ever blossoming community of like-minded yogis and practitioners. I hold within my heart an immense amount of gratitude to everyone who has offered me immeasurable support in the evolution of my practice and teaching, especially in light of the big move from Chiang Mai to Australia. As my teaching schedule now revolves around periods of my own retreat into studying and preparation in our little quiet cottage in the Blue Mountains, and then hopping on planes to facilitate intensive workshops and trainings in various places, there are days and nights of quiet solitude when I'm just sitting in a room poring over books and research papers, writing manuals, and being on my mat, waiting for the next breath to happen... I have been seeking deeper answers into what I'm actually bringing to the table to offer practitioners, students, and the community as a whole. What do I want to embody that is also in line with my own evolution as a yogini, a teacher, a human being trying to be the best I could be, in every moment, one breath at a time... Movement. Inquiry. Embodiment. Cultivating the inquiry into how we inhabit within our body. How do we truly listen - deeply, without judgement? How do we relate / react / respond to the people, elements, environment?Facilitating the art of movement, through our embodied soul, through ceaseless inquiries into who we are, why we are, what we are, how we are, when we are...A deep dive into the essence of our being which is beyond just our doings. A quest into seeing how we are simply and deeply connected in this intricate flow of life, where reality begins and ends. How then, can we live, love, cry, laugh, dance, sing, embody, die... Our body is a treasure chest of information that we can tap into to move with more ease, less injuries. With a mind-body holistic approach, this work promotes wellness and self-care through inquiry and deep listening, and not a one-size-fits-all go-to quick fix. It is work for the curious, the inquisitive and the courageous. What is it like to let go of old beliefs that do not serve, to completely embody our true essence as a living spirit, to be a human-BEING instead of a human-DOING? "Between stimulus and response there is a SPACE. In that SPACE is our POWER to CHOOSE our response. In our response lies our growth and our FREEDOM" ~ V Frankl Logo "embodiment" designed by Jesi Kah I've shared this poem by Thich Nhat Hanh in a couple of my classes... and just a few days ago at a yoga therapy training in which I had the good fortune to be a student, someone in class asked how do we bear the incredulous suffering of people afflicted by war, poverty, diseases and unimaginable circumstances which are just too overwhelming for our heart to bear and mind to comprehend... how do not turn away from the pain... How do we keep coming back to seeing all beings as the same - the same divine energy in a million trillion zillion forms. How do we keep our hearts from closing, our minds from contracting? How do we keep coming back to recognise that beneath the shattered dreams, the broken hearts, the the seething angst, the steel cold fear, ... is our capacity to keep coming back home - to empathy, to compassion, to deep listening, to unconditional love - hidden in the most unspeakable, horrid shells, waiting to be cracked open? Don't say that I will depart tomorrow-- even today I am still arriving. Look deeply: every second I am arriving to be a bud on a Spring branch, to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings, learning to sing in my new nest, to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower, to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone. I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry, to fear and to hope. The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death of all that is alive. I am a mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river. And I am the bird that swoops down to swallow the mayfly. I am a frog swimming happily in the clear water of a pond. And I am the grass-snake that silently feeds itself on the frog. I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones, my legs as thin a bamboo sticks. And I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to Uganda. I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat, who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea pirate. And I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and loving. I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my hands. And I am the man who has to pay his "debt of blood" to, my people, dying slowly in a forced labor camp. My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth. My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans. Please call me by my true names, so I can hear all my cries and laughter at once, so I can see that my joy and pain are one. Please call me by my true names, so I can wake up and the door of my heart could be left open, the door of compassion. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Yoga does not remove us from the reality or responsibilities of everyday life, but rather places our feet firmly and resolutely in the practical ground of experience. We do not transcend our lives; we return to the life we left behind to transform it into something better ~ Donna Farhi
2 years ago I re-directed my globetrotting, wanderlusting mode from outward adventuring to a more inward-looking home life. It was the year I began life in the 40's, when the term "mortality" is no longer a far-fetched word reserved for "old people". Something shifted from within me to pause and ask what "living life to the fullest" really means. And if there are other ways for me to satiate my appetite of living life experientially. So I laid down my travel-weary heart and planted my feet more firmly into studying the connection between our mind-body, why we need to, and how we can inquire into the nature of reality as we experience it. It has since facilitated the inner geek in me to delve deeper into understanding the way our human body functions and how we relate to the world, which include intrepid personal introspections, in conferring with my shadows without running away to new places to meet new friends and sample exotic foods… I know I have to face my own neurosis and trappings in order to be an advocate in what I want to facilitate, i.e being able to help people deal with their fears and sufferings, into how our storylines become trapped within our very own visceral bodies. As human beings, we are ultimately seeking more peace, more bliss, more freedom, in our moment-to-moment existence. In this digital age where everything is literally available at our fingertips, we are ever so much more inclined and accessible to instant gratifications, including medications, substances, and other escape strategies for our discomfort. It is easy to put a bandaid on pain and confusion and suffering, even when we know we are trapped in the same patterns – be it in our body or mind (and as we will explore in this course, are actually one and the same), for years, for decades, for lifetimes. We rather bury our heads in the sand, we run away the pain, and we look outwards for somebody, something to fix us, and it keeps tripping us over. We are too conditioned, too lazy or too stubborn to change… Self-inquiry has existed since human civilisation. and we are at a revolutionary juncture. Yoga and bodywork are becoming game changers in questioning and uncovering the ways we inhabit our body-mind which is essentially our relationship with the environment. It is challenging how we experience reality. What blows my mind, is that it makes perfect existentialistic sense to begin altering our root behaviour through recognising and understanding the organisational pattern of our body, the functional patterns of our mind, and the intricate interconnectedness of our consciousness. All this can be done through a holistic approach beyond Prozac, traditional talk therapy or cognitive therapy. My teacher Richard Freeman said, “Yoga is a one way ticket”. There is no going back once we open the door to uncover how our microcosm is intricately woven into our macrocosm. However, there is work to be done. As yoga teachers and therapists we are working with other human beings who are dealing with their own discomfort, pain and trauma, storylines… We need to learn the tools to that will bring about change. So many dis-eases are lifestyle and behavioural driven. Yoga professionals are in for the long haul when we possess an insatiable hunger not just for knowledge, but also in embodiment, so that we can walk our talk and bring to the table true healing and transformation. Healing is not about erasing memory or desensitising, but really it's a transformative process. It is a portal to spiritual awakening and also to spiritual disciplines. People come to really learn to meet their shadow, to process it, to let go, and to move into a more empowered, more open life ~ Peter Levine Yours, in wanderlust, Daphne "Medicine is great at changing chemistry, but it is lousy at changing behavior...We have to get better at it. But this is basically our realm: How to change behavior or to change movement, which is behavior... If yoga teachers are only talking about energy and how everything is connected, then they won't really get a seat at the table..." ~ Tom Myers, author of Anatomy Trains. Check out this article ~ http://yogadork.com/2012/01/20/tom-myers-on-the-century-of-the-body-fascia-yoga-and-the-medicine-of-the-future/ For many years my self practice has always been a morning ritual. It is a launchpad to my day. It sets the tone and gives me more focus, awareness and ease to move through the day.
In the last month, I have shifted my practice time from the start to the end of the day - not for any spiritual or timely auspicious reasons, but simply to work around Rod's work schedule so we can spend more of the day doing things together (e.g, he doesn't have to wait 2 hours for me to have breakfast!) What I thought was going to be a jarring change to my practice rhythm brought about some unexpected insights. So this is a little tribute to honour these solitary evenings on my mat, the moving backdrop of dusk into moonlight, saluting the changing of light, into the embrace of a deep dark silence - within and without. The magic hour happens around 8pm in the summer season of the southern hemisphere. The distant sun drops into the western valleys of the Blue Mountains. On clear days where the clouds are white and fluffy, the tungsten light turns the leaves on our mulberry tree gold and copper. On cloudy days, a seeming million shades of amber and magenta and pink colour the sky, cutting through the evening mist. I drop into the sweet aching of the body as it stretches and rolls and flows with the ever expanding breath. Then it all melds into the dwindling light, birthing night. The sun surrenders in grace, making way for the moon to reflect its magnificence. Day submits into night as seamlessly as the inhale succumbs to the exhale, neither one regards itself more vital than the other. The sun and the moon and the dance of the inner breath..... And at the moment the last light yields, there is no regret. The night welcomes the next breath, the body remains as the moving conduit between earth and sky. Beneath the darkness lies the vastness of peace, where fears are only shadows lurking in the moonlight, where demons play hide and seek just so we can see through the humour of the game called life, where hopes for tomorrow seem to await in eternity but there is little hurry to leave the present moment. In the endless night sky where clouds shroud the moon, where stars speckle across infinite galaxies, I am only dust. |
Daphne Chua
Registered Yoga Therapist, Somatic Movement Educator, Bodyworker, Yoga Teacher Trainer
December 2021
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